Inquisitrix

I have been totally busting my ass the past couple of weeks so I could leave for L.A. this week and see Lisa and Paul and their new baby, Griffin. I was going to be gone for an entire week so I needed to make sure that all of my loose ends were tied in a nice neat little bow.

And have I mentioned that work is also kicking my ass at the exact same time that I have been busting it? Yeah, no fun. Also, the brother and SIL needed childcare on three separate days for more than 8 hours at a time. Hello? And another good friend, Jean, had a baby on Tuesday. Oy.

Then we also had a Poker tournament for work last Wednesday night. I had never played Texas Hold ‘Em (no limit, I have only played 7 card stud), so I asked for a few practice games. Well, the great guys that I work with decided that we were only going to have ONE practice game, but forgot to tell Melissa, so - thinking I had nothing to lose, on the second game - I bet all of my chips. And lost. And they saw nothing wrong with this. THAT will be the last time that happens.

Thursday, Valentine’s Day, came and went with a dozen red roses from my hunka, hunka burning love, and lots of Chocolate from me to him. Because neither one of us was coordinated enough to make reservations anywhere, and we are already an old boring married couple, we ate dinner at a restaurant called Ingredient, which was interesting - No tipping. Very, very fresh ingredients. Very good food in a very casual atmosphere. Just my speed.

I tracked down the guy that had done my hair before I moved to Australia and, after work on Friday, we reunited (And yes, it feels SO GOOD). Brent is an experienced stylist that knows color. Hello! The bright spot of my week. Thank GOD because the sweet young thing that I have gone to since I have been back was nice, but not exactly ‘good. My hair is the only thing I am truly vain about. I mean, I wear makeup all of the time, but that is so I don’t scare small children. So that’s not vanity, it’s self defense. But if my hair is great, I feel great, right?

Well, not exactly - My wagon had been draggin the entire week. I felt really, really tired. By Friday, my throat was tickling. I was going to see Jean’s baby on the way home, but I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea so I called at the last second to cancel. And I was right. Saturday morning, I was coughing up copious amounts of green phlegm. I went to the doctor and was told not to travel, and definitely not to hang around any babies! Bronchitis, Strep Throat (and my doc thinks, a virus). Blech.

Thus, my trip to LA has been postponed until mid April. I made a few phone calls and squeaked out apologies. My friends were happy that the trip was postponed (Lisa was happy that Griffin will be old enough to take on field trips and Eileen won’t have to shampoo carpets) and I have never been so happy that my friends were happy that I wasn’t coming for a visit. I hate canceling at the last second. But who wants germs?

A LOT of people are sick right now. I went to the drugstore to get my prescriptions filled and was looking over the remaining boxes of Mucinex to decide which box to purchase. I have never taken it before, so I was reading the box (while it was on the shelf). Which, apparently, was a mistake. All of the sudden I heard a very loud “EXCUSE ME” and this unbelievably rude old woman snatched the very box that I was reading, which happened to be the last of that kind. I was shocked at how obviously rude she was - she knew exactly what she was doing and made zero apologies. I watched her as she made her way to the blood pressure cuff station and sat down to get a reading. It took everything I had not to run over, scream “NO - EXCUSE ME” and beat her about the head and shoulders with the pressure cuff. But alas, I was tired. And she wasn’t worth it. So very tired.

Here’s one weird thing - I looked like I had been run over by a truck: my eyes were bloodshot, I was sweating from fever and I hadn’t showered because I took the first doctor’s appointment that I could get on Saturday AM before ending up at the drugstore, but no less than four guys flirted with me. This usually doesn’t happen even when I look good and I wanted to say STOP LOOKING AT ME OR I WILL GIVE YOU MY GERMS. Can’t a guy tell when you aren’t on your game? Must have been the hair.

On another note, I am honestly not sure how much longer I will keep blogging. Quite frankly, I am bored with me. And really busy. I might change the direction if I get organized in the next couple of months.

This is what the past four days have looked like. Along with the seven + inches of snow we received last night. And next week is going to bring more snow. I am dreaming of sunshine and fruit that doesn’t come from South America.

Hey, maybe I need to tell my uncles about the pot vending machines that have been installed in LA…

Eating dinner with my parents the other night, the conversation turned to a discussion about pot. My mom was nurse at one point in her career and supports the legalization of medicinal marijuana. This would shock you if you didn’t know her because she and my father are totally conservative in every other way imaginable.

Mom mentioned the fact that pot has been legalized in Montana. We have family there. Mom then mentioned the fact that one of my uncles, who is a biologist, was thinking about growing medicinal pot and going into business with my other uncle, who is a doctor, to sell for theraputic use. Cash crop, I say. Sounds like a solid business with a great future. I can see it. Peace sign. Tie dyed t-shirts. Birkenstocks. Right on.

My father (again, CONSERVATIVE, just in case you didn’t get it the first time) decided to take this opportunity to disparage the ‘Liberals’ in Montana who passed the legistlation. He did this for Rohan and my benefit, because we are filthy and disgusting liberals. I love my Dad dearly. We tease each other mercilessly. We are all good fun.

But the funny thing is that my father said it in almost a whisper because that’s how you talk about politics in our family. Either that or, if you are my Mother, at the top of your lungs, in the kitchen on Sunday mornings, preferably with a meat cleaver in your hands.

My mother leaned over to remind him in a hushed tone that it wasn’t polite to talk about politics or religion in public (my childhood = good times!). As she was telling him this, the waiter came to our table to refresh drinks.

As the waiter was reaching across the table - I just could not resist - in the loudest ’speaking’ voice I could manage, said, “Yes, Dad! We should never talk about politics or religion in public. So lets go back to talking about POT!”

My parents just shook their heads. Mom always says that you never know what is going to come out of my mouth. Good times, indeed.

Heath Ledger. Wow. I am one of bazillions that loved him. From what I have read, his autopsy is inconclusive and Pneumonia was ruled out. The only other thing that can be considered now is drugs. How very sad. How very sad for his family. And most sad for his daughter. Isn’t it awful that the brightest sometimes burn out the fastest? Only 28 and yet he seemed like such a tortured soul. May he be in a better place and rest in peace.

So, the car… My sweet car, she is costing just over $1K to fix now due to a cracked exhaust manifold. When it’s cold we could smell fuel every time we started her. So we knew there was a problem but my fingers and toes were crossed that fixing the oil leaks and seals and all of that hoo-hah would take care of it. I have a very reputable mechanic that my father (a mechanical engineer) has used for 10 years+, so I trust them. I keep repeating over and over to myself “cheaper than a new car, cheaper than a new car, cheaper than a new car”. Uuuugh. We just don’t want to buy a new one NOW. Or even a used one. However, any more repairs like this and we might feed her to the junkyard dogs. Maybe later this year we can buy something new and shiny. Like after we win the friggin lottery.

I called Lisa today and she couldn’t talk for long because she missed her pain medicine a few hours earlier so she was in a lot of pain. She also had not gotten any sleep and was having trouble feeding Griffin because her milk hadn’t fully come in and OH MY GOD I WISH I COULD BE THERE!!!!! But the coolest thing in the world is that I know I don’t have to be because her husband Paul, or “Poppa Paul” as I call him now, is so incredibly awesome.

I have always been very protective of Lisa - She has been like a little sister to me and she has the most loving, warm and open nature. But that also meant that people would take advantage of her kindness. When we dated, we would share stories of boyfriend fiascoes and when I lived in Los Angeles, I got to experience some of hers and she, some of mine. It wasn’t pretty at times. Lisa always went for the tortured artistic souls that she gave everything too and got less than nothing in return. I worried for her future because I thought she was always going to be taking on these ‘projects’.

I met Paul at my last going away party. I had lived in LA for four years and I had decided that I wanted to move back to Kansas City to be near my family (this was post 9-11). I felt bad that Lisa would be in the big bad city by herself, but you know, sometimes you have to cut the cord. I had heard about Paul a few times and I knew he was different. They met at a wedding. He had a J-O-B (a good one), he owned a car, lived on his own and (GASP) his hair was shorter than Lisas. He worked in IT and was stable. What a concept. And he looked at Lisa like the sun would shine out of her ass. I knew that Lisa was in good hands and I left thinking that Lisa was going to marry this boy. That was 6 years ago. They married in 2004 and now baby Griffin makes three.

A lot is made of the woman during pregnancy (and rightfully so) but sometimes the guys are overlooked. Paul is so happy every time I call it’s like he on a perpetual cotton candy and caffeine high. He is actually giddy. And not only giddy with Griffin, but giddy from, (and I quote) ‘witnessing the loving mothering instincts’ that he sees in Lisa. When he said that, I almost started crying on the phone. And with that, I knew that they don’t need anybody else because they have each other and are now a family. I finally get it.

Well before I get too sentimental and my eyes start to leak, I need to go to bed. A girl needs her beauty rest and Project Runway only has 7 minutes left. Tonight I waxed my brows (OH YES I DID) and I look gooooood even if I do say so myself! The eyes are the windows to the soul. And I have got soul a go-go!

Thank you. And good night!

Lisa had her baby yesterday! Griffin Taylor was born in the wee hours of the morning. Lisa said he is a big boy with the biggest feet she has ever seen. I am so relieved that they are safe and sound. Lisa had to have an emergency C-section because the cord was wrapped around Griffin’s neck twice. I wish that I could have been closer because Lisa is my sister in so many ways. I will head out to LA when I get the thumbs up from Lisa and Paul - They are going to have a ton of visitors over the next few months and I want to go when they “feel” like having company. Or whenever they “feel” like having Auntie Melissa come over to hold the baby so they can get some rest, make them yummy breakfast, lunches and dinners and clean up after a lot of poopy diapers. I would gladly do this and more for a woman that traveled to a foreign country to throw me a bridal shower and be my matron of honor.

I got the call from Paul that Lisa was in labor after getting back from seeing Juno. I loved the movie but it wasn’t Rohan’s cup of tea. I love quirky so much more than Hollywood crapola. There was so much real emotion. I cried happy tears for a long time. (SPOILER - Who couldn’t tell what was going to happen with Jason Bateman’s character? Duh!)

I have to say, the whole prospect of having a child still freaks me out. I am 36 years old (you would think I would get over it) and am the last holdout of almost everyone that I know. I wonder if I am just making too much out of it? Is it like when you are a kid and are freaking out about getting a shot in the butt? But when it’s done you get a band-aid and cherry flavored sucker that lasts FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, that you have to take to the doctor when it gets its 504th ear infection, become religious when it starts dating and pay $120,000 a year for its in-state tuition.

While I dearly love my nieces and nephews, and I LOVE being an Auntie, I also love to do things like, oh, say - sleep. And then, at times, I feel like I am too old. I don’t know if I am nurturing enough. I don’t like messes. Cartoons give me a rash. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up yet - How do your know if you are mother material? Is there ever a ***right*** time to have kids? Sigh. I don’t know that I will ever be sure. If you have kids, what made you decide it was the time to take the plunge?

In other news:
I had to send my Canon 20D to New Jersey for repair. I am so very sad. When we said goodbye at the UPS store, I almost threw myself over the counter to stop them from taking it, but the boy behind the counter already had a broken arm in a gigantic sling, and I didn’t want him to make a puddle on the floor. So now I am in the market for a small digital camera. It should be small, less than $300 (optimally), take CF cards, and have a lithium ion battery (I don’t do AA’s, thank you very much). Any suggestions?

This weekend, I made my office/studio my bitch. My home office in Australia had lots of great built-ins and tons of storage. Now my office has a closet and that is it. Boxes were stacked up to the ceiling and I just was so sick of it taunting me. I was having anxiety dreams about it, like the boxes were closing in on me and I was going to be suffocated with bubble wrap. I didn’t know what to do, but it came to me while I was doing laundry - I HAVE A PLAN. And now I am in love with my office and want to marry it. Rohan would probably have a problem with that. Or not depending on if we have had a fight. If I get a nifty pocket camera, I might take pictures.

And tomorrow:
Decide on a home security package. We can get a discount on our home owners insurance and the cats aren’t cutting it as guard dogs. Something about them running up and hiding under the bed whenever someone new arrives makes me think that if Mr. Robber arrives, we wouldn’t have a chance.

Pick up car from Le Shop. The Honda is getting an $800 tune up. I cringe when I think about that, but hey, it’s cheaper than a new car, right? And it is getting new tires by the end of the month. I am having horrible visions of money flying out of my hands. Oh, wait. IT’S REALLY HAPPENING.

Roast vegetables before they grow legs and declare mutiny from the kitchen appliance garage that I have converted into a counter-top root cellar. Maybe banana bread if I get ambitious.

And decide what transformers we need. FINALLY. We still have a several appliances, including computers and a televisions waiting for a transformer and an adaptor. I am still working on those baby steps.

Anthony Bourdain has a blog! I love this man and the fact that he has no problem telling the Food Network what a pansy ass mess it’s become. Let the ass ripping begin!

Last night I was craving wine and we haven’t really had any good red since we left Australia. We are still in the mode of replacing all of the things we couldn’t bring with us, so we didn’t even have any cooking wine hanging around the house for a good swig if we got desperate. We went to our local Cork & Barrel and found that they had an Australian selection, which was nice. However, they were all of the quaffing wine variety which was a bit of a disappointment. We did bring home, among others an 04 Jacob’s Creek Cab Sav that was really, really good. And inexpensive (under $10)! Give it a try. And if you are so inclined the next morning, hangover cures. I love The Morning News.

And after my sticker shock episode this last week, because I am not well versed in spa costs, I thought this was interesting - What you actually get for the price of a fancy spa pedicure on Ask Metafilter. How many girls out there get regular pedicures? Because I can’t really afford to, and because I like to avoid fungus and infections (EW), I bought myself one of these fancy schmancey home foot spas and think I will keep up the good work at home.

And I am also in the mood for art. I usually *HATE* typical watercolor with a passion, but this guy - David Castle - is incredible. I dig the graphic element to his work. He is having a January color sale. Valentines Day is coming up….

We saw the movie “The Last Kiss” this weekend (started slow, but definitely got better - Are all Zach Braff movies like this?) and love, love, love the soundtrack. I think ITunes might get a visit from me today.

What movies are you watching? Next up on our Netflix List:

Who the #$&% Is Jackson Pollock?
Shortbus
The Astronaut Farmer

Happy Hump Day!!!

PS - I don’t get a dime for recommending anything. Just sharing what I like, okeedokee? And I want you to share, too!

So, I have been completely DYING to write about this. I can keep a secret like nobody’s business! My brother frequently recruits me to be his partner in crime and I like being in the ‘Circle of Trust.’ Last week, we surprised my sister in law for her 40th Birthday. In a very BIG way.

Remember how I said I was going to take her to a spa and treat her to a manicure and pedicure for her birthday? Okay, so yeah, I did that and OMG I felt like a new woman afterwards. PURE HEAVEN!!! But I didn’t know that heaven could come at a price - we are talking $50 for a spa pedicure? And another 30 for a french manicure? EACH??? Yikes. Can you tell how much spa activity I have had in my life? Yeah… Sad… But NICE and totally worth every penny! Warm jet bubble soaks and lavender salt scrubs! Minty mud wraps with hot towels! Massage oil and pampering! Gigantic massage chairs that looked like they could take off for Mars that lulled us into an unbelievably relaxed state of bliss. I didn’t even need a Martini at that point. The sweet sounds of birds chirping overhead transported us. Mary looked at me at one point with a smile and her eyes half open, and said, “I don’t even feel like a Mommy anymore…”

Anyhoo - THAT was all a ruse! While I was distracting my sister in law, my brother was packing her bags and making the final arrangements with our parents. He put together a four day trip to Fort Lauderdale (where they received their sailing certifications a few years back - Yes, my brother does demand upon occasion that we address him as ‘Captain’ - DON’T ASK) and a week long cruise to Mexico and Belize. Eleven days without children. And did I mention a stretch limo to the airport? Hello! My parents are taking care of the kids so I had the really DIFFICULT job of taking Mary to the spa. I sacrifice myself for my family. Really. I do.

Last July, my brother and his family took a two week road trip that was supposed to be a wonderful family vacation, but instead turned into a nightmare with a one week detour to an out of state hospital due to a very sick child. They were both completely exhausted when they returned, obviously, and were trying to find some way to get away and take some time to recharge their batteries. They work really, really hard - They are business owners with two small kiddos. I can’t even imagine how tired they are. Or were.

At the spa, after we had our pedicures, I slyly dropped hints, saying, “Gee, Mary, you need to go somewhere that you can wear strappy sandals to show off your gorgeous toes” (Have I mentioned that it’s eighteen degrees here? That’s Fahrenheit. Eight degrees below Celsius). My brother had arranged to take this week off for some vacation time away from the office. I asked her what they were going to do with him ‘home’ (he travels a lot) and she responded by saying that she hoped that they could have set aside some time to plan a ‘real’ vacation’! I told her it was really sad that they had to take vacation time to plan a vacation! They just celebrated their 16th wedding anniversary so I said maybe they can plan a trip somewhere nice for their next anniversary. I mentioned how nice it would be to go somewhere sunny. I am so evil.

After the spa, we got to the restaurant that we were going to do our ‘girl’ lunch and she saw everyone’s vehicles, but she just thought that we were going to surprise her with lunch. My brother had a puzzle for her that spelled out the words “Best Mommy”, “Royal Trip” and “Happy 40th”. He was so excited that he couldn’t wait for her to solve it and told her what was up. Mary was totally speechless. Sweet!!!

They were packed up and in the limo an hour later, headed to the airport. Four hours later, they checked into their hotel on the beach in Florida. I talked to them on Saturday and they already sounded like new people. I told them to throw their cell phones overboard. They sent us some gorgeous photos. I was tempted to hop a on a plane to join them. My parents, however, looked exhausted after only two days with the kids. The kids, 4 and 2, are nonstop bundles of energy. My mom keeps telling me there is a reason that 60 year olds don’t have children. And I think that is a hint to me to get off of my ass already and have kids before my eggs petrify.

Mary’s birthday isn’t until the 19th, so we really were able to pull this off. I told her that my New Year’s Resolution was to be organized enough to do everything ahead of time this year. And she believed me. Ha! I just say that if I absolutely HAD TO, I would sacrifice myself all over again for a spa pedicure. It’s the least I can do.

I’ve shown you mine, so now show me yours! Or at least say ‘hi’!

From the always fabulous Aimee (she made this badge and it cracks my ass up!):